"I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little youknow me. Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any suchchildish tricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, andall my teeth and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that thecolds, so common in this Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait alittle, while I go and light my candle, and I will returnimmediately and lay my sorrows before you as before one who relievesthose of all the world;" and without staying for an answer she quittedthe room and left Don Quixote tranquilly meditating while he waitedfor her. A thousand thoughts at once suggested themselves to him onthe subject of this new adventure, and it struck him as being ill doneand worse advised in him to expose himself to the danger of breakinghis plighted faith to his lady; and said he to himself, "Who knows butthat the devil, being wily and cunning, may be trying now to entrap mewith a duenna, having failed with empresses, queens, duchesses,marchionesses, and countesses? Many a time have I heard it said bymany a man of sense that he will sooner offer you a flat-nosed wenchthan a roman-nosed one; and who knows but this privacy, thisopportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires, and lead mein these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped? Incases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle.But I must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; forit is impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna couldstir up or excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom inthe world. Is there a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is therea duenna in the world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, andprudish? Avaunt, then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind.Oh, but that lady did well who, they say, had at the end of herreception room a couple of figures of duennas with spectacles andlace-cushions, as if at work, and those statues served quite as wellto give an air of propriety to the room as if they had been realduennas."
So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and notallow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it SenoraRodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer viewof Don Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages andnight-cap, she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces,exclaimed, "Am I safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as asign of very great virtue that your worship should have got up outof bed."
"I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do askwhether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?"
"Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sirknight?" said the duenna.
"Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am notmarble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning,but midnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room moresecluded and retired than the cave could have been where thetreacherous and daring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido.But give me your hand, senora; I require no better protection thanmy own continence, and my own sense of propriety; as well as thatwhich is inspired by that venerable head-dress;" and so saying hekissed her right hand and took it in his own, she yielding it to himwith equal ceremoniousness. And here Cide Hamete inserts a parenthesisin which he says that to have seen the pair marching from the doorto the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, he would have given thebest of the two tunics he had.
Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seaton a chair at some little distance from his couch, without takingoff her spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrappedthe bedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leavingnothing but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regainedtheir composure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez,you may unbosom yourself and out with everything you have in yoursorrowful heart and afflicted bowels; and by me you shall belistened to with chaste ears, and aided by compassionate exertions."
"I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentleand winning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected.The fact is, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated inthis chair, here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in theattire of a despised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo,and of a family with which many of the best of the province areconnected by blood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of myparents, who, I know not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty,brought me to the court of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoidgreater misfortunes, my parents placed me as seamstress in the serviceof a lady of quality, and I would have you know that for hemming andsewing I have never been surpassed by any all my life. My parents leftme in service and returned to their own country, and a few years laterwent, no doubt, to heaven, for they were excellent good CatholicChristians. I was left an orphan with nothing but the miserablewages and trifling presents that are given to servants of my sort inpalaces; but about this time, without any encouragement on my part,one of the esquires of the household fell in love with me, a mansomewhat advanced in years, full-bearded and personable, and above allas good a gentleman as the king himself, for he came of a mountainstock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecy but that theycame to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any fussabout it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy motherRoman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put anend to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth,for I passed through it safely and in due season, but becauseshortly afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, andhad I time to tell you of it I know your worship would besurprised;" and here she began to weep bitterly and said, "Pardonme, Senor Don Quixote, if I am unable to control myself, for everytime I think of my unfortunate husband my eyes fill up with tears. Godbless me, with what an air of dignity he used to carry my ladybehind him on a stout mule as black as jet! for in those days they didnot use coaches or chairs, as they say they do now, and ladies rodebehind their squires. This much at least I cannot help telling you,that you may observe the good breeding and punctiliousness of myworthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle de Santiago inMadrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of the Court, withtwo alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soon as my goodsquire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he wouldturn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said tohim in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see thatI am here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and saidto him, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompanymy lady Dona Casilda'- for that was my mistress's name. Still myhusband, cap in hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde,and seeing this my lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out abig pin, or, I rather think, a bodkin, out of her needle-case anddrove it into his back with such force that my husband gave a loudyell, and writhing fell to the ground with his lady. Her twolacqueys ran to rise her up, and the alcalde and the alguacils did thesame; the Guadalajara gate was all in commotion -I mean the idlerscongregated there; my mistress came back on foot, and my husbandhurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he was run rightthrough the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised abroad to suchan extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street; and onthis account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my ladydismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond adoubt that brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with adaughter on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; atlength, however, as I had the character of being an excellentneedlewoman, my lady the duchess, then lately married to my lord theduke, offered to take me with her to this kingdom of Aragon, and mydaughter also, and here as time went by my daughter grew up and withher all the graces in the world; she sings like a lark, dances quickas thought, foots it like a gipsy, reads and writes like aschoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of her neatness I saynothing, for the running water is not purer, and her age is now, if mymemory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days, one moreor less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, livingin a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell inlove with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they cametogether, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of mydaughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke isaware of it （for I have complained to him, not once but many andmany a time, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry mydaughter）， he turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; thereason being that as the deceiver's father is so rich, and lends himmoney, and is constantly going security for his debts, he does notlike to offend or annoy him in any way. Now, senor, I want yourworship to take it upon yourself to redress this wrong either byentreaty or by arms; for by what all the world says you came into itto redress grievances and right wrongs and help the unfortunate. Letyour worship put before you the unprotected condition of mydaughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have said shepossesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all the damselsmy lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of her shoe,and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest andgayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not comewithin two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all isnot gold that glitters, and that same little Altisidora has moreforwardness than good looks, and more impudence than modesty;besides being not very sound, for she has such a disagreeable breaththat one cannot bear to be near her for a moment; and even my lady theduchess- but I'll hold my tongue, for they say that walls have ears."