Sancho said he might do as he pleased; but that for his own parthe would like to finish off the business quickly before his bloodcooled and while he had an appetite, because "in delay there is apt tobe danger" very often, and "praying to God and plying the hammer," and"one take was better than two I'll give thee's," and "a sparrow in thehand than a vulture on the wing."
"For God's sake, Sancho, no more proverbs!" exclaimed Don Quixote;"it seems to me thou art becoming sicut erat again; speak in aplain, simple, straight-forward way, as I have often told thee, andthou wilt find the good of it."
"I don't know what bad luck it is of mine," argument to my mind;however, I mean to mend said Sancho, "but I can't utter a word withouta proverb that is not as good as an argument to my mind; however, Imean to mend if I can;" and so for the present the conversation ended.CHAPTER LXXII
OF HOW DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO REACHED THEIR VILLAGE
ALL that day Don Quixote and Sancho remained in the village andinn waiting for night, the one to finish off his task of scourgingin the open country, the other to see it accomplished, for therein laythe accomplishment of his wishes. Meanwhile there arrived at thehostelry a traveller on horseback with three or four servants, oneof whom said to him who appeared to be the master, "Here, Senor DonAlvaro Tarfe, your worship may take your siesta to-day; the quartersseem clean and cool."
When he heard this Don Quixote said to Sancho, "Look here, Sancho;on turning over the leaves of that book of the Second Part of myhistory I think I came casually upon this name of Don Alvaro Tarfe."
"Very likely," said Sancho; "we had better let him dismount, andby-and-by we can ask about it."
The gentleman dismounted, and the landlady gave him a room on theground floor opposite Don Quixote's and adorned with painted sergehangings of the same sort. The newly arrived gentleman put on a summercoat, and coming out to the gateway of the hostelry, which was wideand cool, addressing Don Quixote, who was pacing up and down there, heasked, "In what direction your worship bound, gentle sir?"
"To a village near this which is my own village," replied DonQuixote; "and your worship, where are you bound for?"
"I am going to Granada, senor," said the gentleman, "to my owncountry."
"And a goodly country," said Don Quixote; "but will your worshipdo me the favour of telling me your name, for it strikes me it is ofmore importance to me to know it than I can tell you."
"My name is Don Alvaro Tarfe," replied the traveller.
To which Don Quixote returned, "I have no doubt whatever that yourworship is that Don Alvaro Tarfe who appears in print in the SecondPart of the history of Don Quixote of La Mancha, lately printed andpublished by a new author."
"I am the same," replied the gentleman; "and that same DonQuixote, the principal personage in the said history, was a very greatfriend of mine, and it was I who took him away from home, or atleast induced him to come to some jousts that were to be held atSaragossa, whither I was going myself; indeed, I showed him manykindnesses, and saved him from having his shoulders touched up bythe executioner because of his extreme rashness."
Tell me, Senor Don Alvaro," said Don Quixote, "am I at all like thatDon Quixote you talk of?"
"No indeed," replied the traveller, "not a bit."
"And that Don Quixote-" said our one, "had he with him a squirecalled Sancho Panza?"
"He had," said Don Alvaro; "but though he had the name of being verydroll, I never heard him say anything that had any drollery in it."
"That I can well believe," said Sancho at this, "for to come outwith drolleries is not in everybody's line; and that Sancho yourworship speaks of, gentle sir, must be some great scoundrel,dunderhead, and thief, all in one; for I am the real Sancho Panza, andI have more drolleries than if it rained them; let your worship onlytry; come along with me for a year or so, and you will find theyfall from me at every turn, and so rich and so plentiful that thoughmostly I don't know what I am saying I make everybody that hears melaugh. And the real Don Quixote of La Mancha, the famous, the valiant,the wise, the lover, the righter of wrongs, the guardian of minors andorphans, the protector of widows, the killer of damsels, he who hasfor his sole mistress the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, is thisgentleman before you, my master; all other Don Quixotes and allother Sancho Panzas are dreams and mockeries."
"By God I believe it," said Don Alvaro; "for you have uttered moredrolleries, my friend, in the few words you have spoken than the otherSancho Panza in all I ever heard from him, and they were not a few. Hewas more greedy than well-spoken, and more dull than droll; and I amconvinced that the enchanters who persecute Don Quixote the Goodhave been trying to persecute me with Don Quixote the Bad. But I don'tknow what to say, for I am ready to swear I left him shut up in theCasa del Nuncio at Toledo, and here another Don Quixote turns up,though a very different one from mine."
"I don't know whether I am good," said Don Quixote, "but I cansafely say I am not 'the Bad;' and to prove it, let me tell you, SenorDon Alvaro Tarfe, I have never in my life been in Saragossa; so farfrom that, when it was told me that this imaginary Don Quixote hadbeen present at the jousts in that city, I declined to enter it, inorder to drag his falsehood before the face of the world; and so Iwent on straight to Barcelona, the treasure-house of courtesy, havenof strangers, asylum of the poor, home of the valiant, champion of thewronged, pleasant exchange of firm friendships, and city unrivalled insite and beauty. And though the adventures that befell me there arenot by any means matters of enjoyment, but rather of regret, I donot regret them, simply because I have seen it. In a word, Senor DonAlvaro Tarfe, I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, the one that famespeaks of, and not the unlucky one that has attempted to usurp my nameand deck himself out in my ideas. I entreat your worship by yourdevoir as a gentleman to be so good as to make a declaration beforethe alcalde of this village that you never in all your life saw meuntil now, and that neither am I the Don Quixote in print in theSecond Part, nor this Sancho Panza, my squire, the one your worshipknew."
"That I will do most willingly," replied Don Alvaro; "though itamazes me to find two Don Quixotes and two Sancho Panzas at once, asmuch alike in name as they differ in demeanour; and again I say anddeclare that what I saw I cannot have seen, and that what happenedme cannot have happened."
"No doubt your worship is enchanted, like my lady Dulcinea delToboso," said Sancho; "and would to heaven your disenchantmentrested on my giving myself another three thousand and odd lasheslike what I'm giving myself for her, for I'd lay them on withoutlooking for anything."
"I don't understand that about the lashes," said Don Alvaro.Sancho replied that it was a long story to tell, but he would tell himif they happened to he going the same road.
By this dinner-time arrived, and Don Quixote and Don Alvaro dinedtogether. The alcalde of the village came by chance into the inntogether with a notary, and Don Quixote laid a petition before him,showing that it was requisite for his rights that Don Alvaro Tarfe,the gentleman there present, should make a declaration before him thathe did not know Don Quixote of La Mancha, also there present, and thathe was not the one that was in print in a history entitled "SecondPart of Don Quixote of La Mancha, by one Avellaneda of Tordesillas."The alcalde finally put it in legal form, and the declaration was madewith all the formalities required in such cases, at which DonQuixote and Sancho were in high delight, as if a declaration of thesort was of any great importance to them, and as if their words anddeeds did not plainly show the difference between the two Don Quixotesand the two Sanchos. Many civilities and offers of service wereexchanged by Don Alvaro and Don Quixote, in the course of which thegreat Manchegan displayed such good taste that he disabused Don Alvaroof the error he was under; and he, on his part, felt convinced he musthave been enchanted, now that he had been brought in contact withtwo such opposite Don Quixotes.
Evening came, they set out from the village, and after about halfa league two roads branched off, one leading to Don Quixote's village,the other the road Don Alvaro was to follow. In this short intervalDon Quixote told him of his unfortunate defeat, and of Dulcinea'senchantment and the remedy, all which threw Don Alvaro into freshamazement, and embracing Don Quixote and Sancho he went his way, andDon Quixote went his. That night he passed among trees again inorder to give Sancho an opportunity of working out his penance,which he did in the same fashion as the night before, at the expenseof the bark of the beech trees much more than of his back, of which hetook such good care that the lashes would not have knocked off a flyhad there been one there. The duped Don Quixote did not miss asingle stroke of the count, and he found that together with those ofthe night before they made up three thousand and twenty-nine. Thesun apparently had got up early to witness the sacrifice, and with hislight they resumed their journey, discussing the deception practisedon Don Alvaro, and saying how well done it was to have taken hisdeclaration before a magistrate in such an unimpeachable form. Thatday and night they travelled on, nor did anything worth mention happenthem, unless it was that in the course of the night Sancho finishedoff his task, whereat Don Quixote was beyond measure joyful. Hewatched for daylight, to see if along the road he should fall inwith his already disenchanted lady Dulcinea; and as he pursued hisjourney there was no woman he met that he did not go up to, to seeif she was Dulcinea del Toboso, as he held it absolutely certainthat Merlin's promises could not lie. Full of these thoughts andanxieties, they ascended a rising ground wherefrom they descried theirown village, at the sight of which Sancho fell on his kneesexclaiming, "Open thine eyes, longed-for home, and see how thy sonSancho Panza comes back to thee, if not very rich, very wellwhipped! Open thine arms and receive, too, thy son Don Quixote, who,if he comes vanquishe by the arm of another, comes victor overhimself, which, as he himself has told me, is the greatest victoryanyone can desire. I'm bringing back money, for if I was well whipped,I went mounted like a gentleman."