"To be sure they don't lie!" exclaimed Dona Rodriguez, the duenna,who was one of the listeners. "Why, there's a ballad that says theyput King Rodrigo alive into a tomb full of toads, and adders, andlizards, and that two days afterwards the king, in a plaintive, feeblevoice, cried out from within the tomb-
They gnaw me now, they gnaw me now,
There where I most did sin.And according to that the gentleman has good reason to say he wouldrather be a labouring man than a king, if vermin are to eat him."
The duchess could not help laughing at the simplicity of her duenna,or wondering at the language and proverbs of Sancho, to whom she said,"Worthy Sancho knows very well that when once a knight has made apromise he strives to keep it, though it should cost him his life.My lord and husband the duke, though not one of the errant sort, isnone the less a knight for that reason, and will keep his word aboutthe promised island, in spite of the envy and malice of the world. LetSancho he of good cheer; for when he least expects it he will findhimself seated on the throne of his island and seat of dignity, andwill take possession of his government that he may discard it foranother of three-bordered brocade. The charge I give him is to becareful how he governs his vassals, bearing in mind that they areall loyal and well-born."
"As to governing them well," said Sancho, "there's no need ofcharging me to do that, for I'm kind-hearted by nature, and full ofcompassion for the poor; there's no stealing the loaf from him whokneads and bakes;' and by my faith it won't do to throw false dicewith me; I am an old dog, and I know all about 'tus, tus;' I can bewide-awake if need be, and I don't let clouds come before my eyes, forI know where the shoe pinches me; I say so, because with me the goodwill have support and protection, and the bad neither footing noraccess. And it seems to me that, in governments, to make a beginningis everything; and maybe, after having been governor a fortnight, I'lltake kindly to the work and know more about it than the field labour Ihave been brought up to."
"You are right, Sancho," said the duchess, "for no one is born readytaught, and the bishops are made out of men and not out of stones. Butto return to the subject we were discussing just now, theenchantment of the lady Dulcinea, I look upon it as certain, andsomething more than evident, that Sancho's idea of practising adeception upon his master, making him believe that the peasant girlwas Dulcinea and that if he did not recognise her it must be becauseshe was enchanted, was all a device of one of the enchanters thatpersecute Don Quixote. For in truth and earnest, I know from goodauthority that the coarse country wench who jumped up on the ass wasand is Dulcinea del Toboso, and that worthy Sancho, though hefancies himself the deceiver, is the one that is deceived; and thatthere is no more reason to doubt the truth of this, than of anythingelse we never saw. Senor Sancho Panza must know that we too haveenchanters here that are well disposed to us, and tell us what goes onin the world, plainly and distinctly, without subterfuge or deception;and believe me, Sancho, that agile country lass was and is Dulcineadel Toboso, who is as much enchanted as the mother that bore her;and when we least expect it, we shall see her in her own properform, and then Sancho will he disabused of the error he is under atpresent."
"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'mwilling to believe what my master says about what he saw in the caveof Montesinos, where he says he saw the lady Dulcinea del Toboso inthe very same dress and apparel that I said I had seen her in when Ienchanted her all to please myself. It must be all exactly the otherway, as your ladyship says; because it is impossible to suppose thatout of my poor wit such a cunning trick could be concocted in amoment, nor do I think my master is so mad that by my weak andfeeble persuasion he could be made to believe a thing so out of allreason. But, senora, your excellence must not therefore think meill-disposed, for a dolt like me is not bound to see into the thoughtsand plots of those vile enchanters. I invented all that to escape mymaster's scolding, and not with any intention of hurting him; and ifit has turned out differently, there is a God in heaven who judges ourhearts."
"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what is thisyou say about the cave of Montesinos, for I should like to know."
Sancho upon this related to her, word for word, what has been saidalready touching that adventure, and having heard it the duchess said,"From this occurrence it may be inferred that, as the great DonQuixote says he saw there the same country wench Sancho saw on the wayfrom El Toboso, it is, no doubt, Dulcinea, and that there are somevery active and exceedingly busy enchanters about."
"So I say," said Sancho, "and if my lady Dulcinea is enchanted, somuch the worse for her, and I'm not going to pick a quarrel with mymaster's enemies, who seem to be many and spiteful. The truth isthat the one I saw was a country wench, and I set her down to be acountry wench; and if that was Dulcinea it must not be laid at mydoor, nor should I be called to answer for it or take theconsequences. But they must go nagging at me at every step- 'Sanchosaid it, Sancho did it, Sancho here, Sancho there,' as if Sancho wasnobody at all, and not that same Sancho Panza that's now going allover the world in books, so Samson Carrasco told me, and he's at anyrate one that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of that sort can'tlie, except when the whim seizes them or they have some very goodreason for it. So there's no occasion for anybody to quarrel withme; and then I have a good character, and, as I have heard my mastersay, 'a good name is better than great riches;' let them only stick meinto this government and they'll see wonders, for one who has been agood squire will be a good governor."
"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "areCatonian sentences, or at any rate out of the very heart of MichaelVerino himself, who florentibus occidit annis. In fact, to speak inhis own style, 'under a bad cloak there's often a good drinker.'"
"Indeed, senora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of wickedness;from thirst I have very likely, for I have nothing of the hypocrite inme; I drink when I'm inclined, or, if I'm not inclined, when theyoffer it to me, so as not to look either strait-laced or ill-bred; forwhen a friend drinks one's health what heart can be so hard as notto return it? But if I put on my shoes I don't dirty them; besides,squires to knights-errant mostly drink water, for they are alwayswandering among woods, forests and meadows, mountains and crags,without a drop of wine to be had if they gave their eyes for it."
"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go and takehis sleep, and we will talk by-and-by at greater length, and settlehow he may soon go and stick himself into the government, as he says."
Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated her to letgood care be taken of his Dapple, for he was the light of his eyes.
"What is Dapple?" said the duchess.
"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that name,I'm accustomed to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna here totake care of him when I came into the castle, and she got as angryas if I had said she was ugly or old, though it ought to be morenatural and proper for duennas to feed asses than to ornamentchambers. God bless me! what a spite a gentleman of my village hadagainst these ladies!"
"He must have been some clown," said Dona Rodriguez the duenna; "forif he had been a gentleman and well-born he would have exalted themhigher than the horns of the moon."
"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush, DonaRodriguez, and let Senor Panza rest easy and leave the treatment ofDapple in my charge, for as he is a treasure of Sancho's, I'll put himon the apple of my eye."
"It will be enough for him to he in the stable," said Sancho, "forneither he nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple of yourhighness's eye, and I'd as soon stab myself as consent to it; forthough my master says that in civilities it is better to lose by acard too many than a card too few, when it comes to civilities toasses we must mind what we are about and keep within due bounds."
"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess, "andthere you will be able to make as much of him as you like, and evenrelease him from work and pension him off."
"Don't think, senora duchess, that you have said anything absurd,"said Sancho; "I have seen more than two asses go to governments, andfor me to take mine with me would he nothing new."
Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again and gave her freshamusement, and dismissing him to sleep she went away to tell theduke the conversation she had had with him, and between them theyplotted and arranged to play a joke upon Don Quixote that was to bea rare one and entirely in knight-errantry style, and in that samestyle they practised several upon him, so much in keeping and soclever that they form the best adventures this great history contains.
CHAPTER XXXIV
WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY WERE TODISENCHANT THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO, WHICH IS ONE OF THERAREST ADVENTURES IN THIS BOOK