"By God, master mine," said Sancho, "your worship is making a fussabout very little. Why the devil should you be vexed if I make useof what is my own? And I have got nothing else, nor any other stock intrade except proverbs and more proverbs; and here are three justthis instant come into my head, pat to the purpose and like pears in abasket; but I won't repeat them, for 'sage silence is called Sancho.'"
"That, Sancho, thou art not," said Don Quixote; "for not only artthou not sage silence, but thou art pestilent prate and perversity;still I would like to know what three proverbs have just now come intothy memory, for I have been turning over mine own- and it is a goodone- and none occurs to me."
"What can be better," said Sancho, "than 'never put thy thumbsbetween two back teeth;' and 'to "get out of my house" and "what doyou want with my wife?" there is no answer;' and 'whether thepitcher hits the stove, or the stove the pitcher, it's a badbusiness for the pitcher;' all which fit to a hair? For no oneshould quarrel with his governor, or him in authority over him,because he will come off the worst, as he does who puts his fingerbetween two back and if they are not back teeth it makes nodifference, so long as they are teeth; and to whatever the governormay say there's no answer, any more than to 'get out of my house'and 'what do you want with my wife?' and then, as for that about thestone and the pitcher, a blind man could see that. So that he 'whosees the mote in another's eye had need to see the beam in his own,'that it be not said of himself, 'the dead woman was frightened atthe one with her throat cut;' and your worship knows well that 'thefool knows more in his own house than the wise man in another's.'"
"Nay, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the fool knows nothing, eitherin his own house or in anybody else's, for no wise structure of anysort can stand on a foundation of folly; but let us say no moreabout it, Sancho, for if thou governest badly, thine will he the faultand mine the shame; but I comfort myself with having done my duty inadvising thee as earnestly and as wisely as I could; and thus I amreleased from my obligations and my promise. God guide thee, Sancho,and govern thee in thy government, and deliver me from the misgiving Ihave that thou wilt turn the whole island upside down, a thing I mighteasily prevent by explaining to the duke what thou art and telling himthat all that fat little person of thine is nothing else but a sackfull of proverbs and sauciness."
"Senor," said Sancho, "if your worship thinks I'm not fit for thisgovernment, I give it up on the spot; for the mere black of the nailof my soul is dearer to me than my whole body; and I can live justas well, simple Sancho, on bread and onions, as governor, onpartridges and capons; and what's more, while we're asleep we're allequal, great and small, rich and poor. But if your worship looksinto it, you will see it was your worship alone that put me on to thisbusiness of governing; for I know no more about the government ofislands than a buzzard; and if there's any reason to think thatbecause of my being a governor the devil will get hold of me, I'drather go Sancho to heaven than governor to hell."
"By God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for those last words thouhast uttered alone, I consider thou deservest to be governor of athousand islands. Thou hast good natural instincts, without which noknowledge is worth anything; commend thyself to God, and try not toswerve in the pursuit of thy main object; I mean, always make it thyaim and fixed purpose to do right in all matters that come beforethee, for heaven always helps good intentions; and now let us go todinner, for I think my lord and lady are waiting for us."
CHAPTER XLIV
HOW SANCHO PANZA WAS CONDUCTED TO HIS GOVERNMENT, AND OF THE STRANGEADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE IN THE CASTLE
IT iS stated, they say, in the true original of this history, thatwhen Cide Hamete came to write this chapter, his interpreter did nottranslate it as he wrote it- that is, as a kind of complaint theMoor made against himself for having taken in hand a story so dryand of so little variety as this of Don Quixote, for he foundhimself forced to speak perpetually of him and Sancho, withoutventuring to indulge in digressions and episodes more serious and moreinteresting. He said, too, that to go on, mind, hand, pen alwaysrestricted to writing upon one single subject, and speaking throughthe mouths of a few characters, was intolerable drudgery, the resultof which was never equal to the author's labour, and that to avoidthis he had in the First Part availed himself of the device of novels,like "The Ill-advised Curiosity," and "The Captive Captain," whichstand, as it were, apart from the story; the others are given therebeing incidents which occurred to Don Quixote himself and could not beomitted. He also thought, he says, that many, engrossed by theinterest attaching to the exploits of Don Quixote, would take nonein the novels, and pass them over hastily or impatiently withoutnoticing the elegance and art of their composition, which would bevery manifest were they published by themselves and not as mereadjuncts to the crazes of Don Quixote or the simplicities of Sancho.Therefore in this Second Part he thought it best not to insert novels,either separate or interwoven, but only episodes, something like them,arising out of the circumstances the facts present; and even thesesparingly, and with no more words than suffice to make them plain; andas he confines and restricts himself to the narrow limits of thenarrative, though he has ability; capacity, and brains enough todeal with the whole universe, he requests that his labours may notbe despised, and that credit be given him, not alone for what hewrites, but for what he has refrained from writing.
And so he goes on with his story, saying that the day Don Quixotegave the counsels to Sancho, the same afternoon after dinner he handedthem to him in writing so that he might get some one to read them tohim. They had scarcely, however, been given to him when he let themdrop, and they fell into the hands of the duke, who showed them to theduchess and they were both amazed afresh at the madness and wit of DonQuixote. To carry on the joke, then, the same evening theydespatched Sancho with a large following to the village that was toserve him for an island. It happened that the person who had him incharge was a majordomo of the duke's, a man of great discretion andhumour- and there can be no humour without discretion- and the samewho played the part of the Countess Trifaldi in the comical way thathas been already described; and thus qualified, and instructed byhis master and mistress as to how to deal with Sancho, he carriedout their scheme admirably. Now it came to pass that as soon as Sanchosaw this majordomo he seemed in his features to recognise those of theTrifaldi, and turning to his master, he said to him, "Senor, eitherthe devil will carry me off, here on this spot, righteous andbelieving, or your worship will own to me that the face of thismajordomo of the duke's here is the very face of the Distressed One."
Don Quixote regarded the majordomo attentively, and having doneso, said to Sancho, "There is no reason why the devil should carrythee off, Sancho, either righteous or believing- and what thou meanestby that I know not; the face of the Distressed One is that of themajordomo, but for all that the majordomo is not the Distressed One;for his being so would involve a mighty contradiction; but this is notthe time for going into questions of the sort, which would beinvolving ourselves in an inextricable labyrinth. Believe me, myfriend, we must pray earnestly to our Lord that he deliver us bothfrom wicked wizards and enchanters."
"It is no joke, senor," said Sancho, "for before this I heard himspeak, and it seemed exactly as if the voice of the Trifaldi wassounding in my ears. Well, I'll hold my peace; but I'll take care tobe on the look-out henceforth for any sign that may be seen to confirmor do away with this suspicion."
"Thou wilt do well, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and thou wilt let meknow all thou discoverest, and all that befalls thee in thygovernment."
Sancho at last set out attended by a great number of people. Hewas dressed in the garb of a lawyer, with a gaban of tawny wateredcamlet over all and a montera cap of the same material, and mounteda la gineta upon a mule. Behind him, in accordance with the duke'sorders, followed Dapple with brand new ass-trappings and ornamentsof silk, and from time to time Sancho turned round to look at his ass,so well pleased to have him with him that he would not have changedplaces with the emperor of Germany. On taking leave he kissed thehands of the duke and duchess and got his master's blessing, which DonQuixote gave him with tears, and he received blubbering.
Let worthy Sancho go in peace, and good luck to him, GentleReader; and look out for two bushels of laughter, which the account ofhow he behaved himself in office will give thee. In the meantimeturn thy attention to what happened his master the same night, andif thou dost not laugh thereat, at any rate thou wilt stretch thymouth with a grin; for Don Quixote's adventures must be honouredeither with wonder or with laughter.
It is recorded, then, that as soon as Sancho had gone, Don Quixotefelt his loneliness, and had it been possible for him to revoke themandate and take away the government from him he would have done so.The duchess observed his dejection and asked him why he wasmelancholy; because, she said, if it was for the loss of Sancho, therewere squires, duennas, and damsels in her house who would wait uponhim to his full satisfaction.