Keeping up this noise, tumult, and uproar, they came to where Sanchostood dazed and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as theyapproached one of them called out to him, "Arm at once, your lordship,if you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost."
"What have I to do with arming?" said Sancho. "What do I knowabout arms or supports? Better leave all that to my master DonQuixote, who will settle it and make all safe in a trice; for I,sinner that I am, God help me, don't understand these scuffles."
"Ah, senor governor," said another, "what slackness of mettle thisis! Arm yourself; here are arms for you, offensive and defensive; comeout to the plaza and be our leader and captain; it falls upon you byright, for you are our governor."
"Arm me then, in God's name," said Sancho, and they at once producedtwo large shields they had come provided with, and placed them uponhim over his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, oneshield in front and the other behind, and passing his arms throughopenings they had made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that therehe was walled and boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable tobend his knees or stir a single step. In his hand they placed a lance,on which he leant to keep himself from falling, and as soon as theyhad him thus fixed they bade him march forward and lead them on andgive them all courage; for with him for their guide and lamp andmorning star, they were sure to bring their business to a successfulissue.
"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?" said Sancho, "when Ican't stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight tomy body won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, andlay me across or set me upright in some postern, and I'll hold iteither with this lance or with my body."
"On, senor governor!" cried another, "it is fear more than theboards that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, forthere is no time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, theshouts grow louder, and the danger is pressing."
Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made anattempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that hefancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like atortoise enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between twokneading-troughs, or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gangof jokers feel any compassion for him when they saw him down; so farfrom that, extinguishing their torches they began to shout afreshand to renew the calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poorSancho, and slashing at him over the shield with their swords insuch a way that, if he had not gathered himself together and madehimself small and drawn in his head between the shields, it would havefared badly with the poor governor, as, squeezed into that narrowcompass, he lay, sweating and sweating again, and commending himselfwith all his heart to God to deliver him from his present peril.Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and one there was whotook up a position on top of him for some time, and from thence asif from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting out, "Here,our side! Here the enemy is thickest! Hold the breach there! Shut thatgate! Barricade those ladders! Here with your stink-pots of pitchand resin, and kettles of boiling oil! Block the streets withfeather beds!" In short, in his ardour he mentioned every littlething, and every implement and engine of war by means of which anassault upon a city is warded off, while the bruised and batteredSancho, who heard and suffered all, was saying to himself, "O if itwould only please the Lord to let the island be lost at once, and Icould see myself either dead or out of this torture!" Heaven heard hisprayer, and when he least expected it he heard voices exclaiming,"Victory, victory! The enemy retreats beaten! Come, senor governor,get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and divide the spoils thathave been won from the foe by the might of that invincible arm."
"Lift me up," said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. Theyhelped him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, "The enemyI have beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don't want to dividethe spoils of the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I haveone, to give me a sup of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipeme dry, for I'm turning to water."
They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields,and he seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, andfatigue he fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke werenow sorry they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his faintingaway had caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. Heasked what o'clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He saidno more, and in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him,waiting to see what the haste with which he was putting on his clothesmeant.
He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he wassorely bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable,followed by all who were present, and going up to Dapple embracedhim and gave him a loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, notwithout tears in his eyes, "Come along, comrade and friend and partnerof my toils and sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares totrouble me except mending your harness and feeding your littlecarcass, happy were my hours, my days, and my years; but since Ileft you, and mounted the towers of ambition and pride, a thousandmiseries, a thousand troubles, and four thousand anxieties haveentered into my soul;" and all the while he was speaking in thisstrain he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass, without a word fromanyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he, with great pain anddifficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the majordomo,the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the doctor and severalothers who stood by, he said, "Make way, gentlemen, and let me go backto my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myselfup from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protectislands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them.Ploughing and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more in my waythan defending provinces or kingdoms. 'Saint Peter is very well atRome; I mean each of us is best following the trade he was born to.A reaping-hook fits my hand better than a governor's sceptre; I'drather have my fill of gazpacho' than be subject to the misery of ameddling doctor who me with hunger, and I'd rather lie in summer underthe shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double sheepskinjacket in freedom, than go to bed between holland sheets and dressin sables under the restraint of a government. God be with yourworships, and tell my lord the duke that 'naked I was born, naked Ifind myself, I neither lose nor gain;' I mean that without afarthing I came into this government, and without a farthing I goout of it, very different from the way governors commonly leaveother islands. Stand aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself,for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemiesthat have been trampling over me to-night."
"That is unnecessary, senor governor," said Doctor Recio, "for Iwill give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that willsoon make you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet Ipromise your worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifullyof whatever you like."
"You spoke late," said Sancho. "I'd as soon turn Turk as stay anylonger. Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soonremain in this government, or take another, even if it was offeredme between two plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of thebreed of the Panzas, and they are every one of them obstinate, andif they once say 'odds,' odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, inspite of all the world. Here in this stable I leave the ant's wingsthat lifted me up into the air for the swifts and other birds to eatme, and let's take to level ground and our feet once more; and ifthey're not shod in pinked shoes of cordovan, they won't want forrough sandals of hemp; 'every ewe to her like,' 'and let no onestretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet;' and now let mepass, for it's growing late with me."
To this the majordomo said, "Senor governor, we would let yourworship go with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to loseyou, for your wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regretyou; but it is well known that every governor, before he leaves theplace where he has been governing, is bound first of all to renderan account. Let your worship do so for the ten days you have heldthe government, and then you may go and the peace of God go with you."
"No one can demand it of me," said Sancho, "but he whom my lordthe duke shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I willrender an exact one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, thereis no other proof needed to show that I have governed like an angel."
"By God the great Sancho is right," said Doctor Recio, "and weshould let him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to seehim."
They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering tobear him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his owncomfort or for the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything morethan a little barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaffor himself; for the distance being so short there was no occasion forany better or bulkier provant. They all embraced him, and he withtears embraced all of them, and left them filled with admiration notonly at his remarks but at his firm and sensible resolution.CHAPTER LIV