At these words Sancho turned his eyes asquint, and in a still loudervoice said, "Can it be your worship has forgotten that I am not aknight, or do you want me to end by vomiting up what bowels I haveleft after last night? Keep your liquor in the name of all the devils,and leave me to myself!" and at one and the same instant he left offtalking and began drinking; but as at the first sup he perceived itwas water he did not care to go on with it, and begged Maritornes tofetch him some wine, which she did with right good will, and paidfor it with her own money; for indeed they say of her that, though shewas in that line of life, there was some faint and distant resemblanceto a Christian about her. When Sancho had done drinking he dug hisheels into his ass, and the gate of the inn being thrown open hepassed out very well pleased at having paid nothing and carried hispoint, though it had been at the expense of his usual sureties, hisshoulders. It is true that the innkeeper detained his alforjas inpayment of what was owing to him, but Sancho took his departure insuch a flurry that he never missed them. The innkeeper, as soon ashe saw him off, wanted to bar the gate close, but the blanketers wouldnot agree to it, for they were fellows who would not have cared twofarthings for Don Quixote, even had he been really one of theknights-errant of the Round Table.
CHAPTER XVIII
IN WHICH IS RELATED THE DISCOURSE SANCHO PANZA HELD WITH HIS MASTER,DON QUIXOTE, AND OTHER ADVENTURES WORTH RELATING
SANCHO reached his master so limp and faint that he could not urgeon his beast. When Don Quixote saw the state he was in he said, "Ihave now come to the conclusion, good Sancho, that this castle orinn is beyond a doubt enchanted, because those who have so atrociouslydiverted themselves with thee, what can they be but phantoms or beingsof another world? and I hold this confirmed by having noticed thatwhen I was by the wall of the yard witnessing the acts of thy sadtragedy, it was out of my power to mount upon it, nor could I evendismount from Rocinante, because they no doubt had me enchanted; for Iswear to thee by the faith of what I am that if I had been able toclimb up or dismount, I would have avenged thee in such a way thatthose braggart thieves would have remembered their freak for ever,even though in so doing I knew that I contravened the laws ofchivalry, which, as I have often told thee, do not permit a knightto lay hands on him who is not one, save in case of urgent and greatnecessity in defence of his own life and person."
"I would have avenged myself too if I could," said Sancho,"whether I had been dubbed knight or not, but I could not; thoughfor my part I am persuaded those who amused themselves with me werenot phantoms or enchanted men, as your worship says, but men offlesh and bone like ourselves; and they all had their names, for Iheard them name them when they were tossing me, and one was calledPedro Martinez, and another Tenorio Hernandez, and the innkeeper, Iheard, was called Juan Palomeque the Left-handed; so that, senor, yournot being able to leap over the wall of the yard or dismount from yourhorse came of something else besides enchantments; and what I make outclearly from all this is, that these adventures we go seeking willin the end lead us into such misadventures that we shall not knowwhich is our right foot; and that the best and wisest thing, accordingto my small wits, would be for us to return home, now that it isharvest-time, and attend to our business, and give over wandering fromZeca to Mecca and from pail to bucket, as the saying is."
"How little thou knowest about chivalry, Sancho," replied DonQuixote; "hold thy peace and have patience; the day will come whenthou shalt see with thine own eyes what an honourable thing it is towander in the pursuit of this calling; nay, tell me, what greaterpleasure can there be in the world, or what delight can equal thatof winning a battle, and triumphing over one's enemy? None, beyond alldoubt."
"Very likely," answered Sancho, "though I do not know it; all I knowis that since we have been knights-errant, or since your worship hasbeen one （for I have no right to reckon myself one of so honourablea number） we have never won any battle except the one with theBiscayan, and even out of that your worship car-ne with half an earand half a helmet the less; and from that till now it has been allcudgellings and more cudgellings, cuffs and more cuffs, I gettingthe blanketing over and above, and falling in with enchanted personson whom I cannot avenge myself so as to know what the delight, as yourworship calls it, of conquering an enemy is like."
"That is what vexes me, and what ought to vex thee, Sancho," repliedDon Quixote; "but henceforward I will endeavour to have at hand somesword made by such craft that no kind of enchantments can takeeffect upon him who carries it, and it is even possible that fortunemay procure for me that which belonged to Amadis when he was called'The Knight of the Burning Sword,' which was one of the best swordsthat ever knight in the world possessed, for, besides having thesaid virtue, it cut like a razor, and there was no armour, howeverstrong and enchanted it might be, that could resist it."
"Such is my luck," said Sancho, "that even if that happened and yourworship found some such sword, it would, like the balsam, turn outserviceable and good for dubbed knights only, and as for thesquires, they might sup sorrow."
"Fear not that, Sancho," said Don Quixote: "Heaven will dealbetter by thee."
Thus talking, Don Quixote and his squire were going along, when,on the road they were following, Don Quixote perceived approachingthem a large and thick cloud of dust, on seeing which he turned toSancho and said:
"This is the day, Sancho, on which will be seen the boon myfortune is reserving for me; this, I say, is the day on which asmuch as on any other shall be displayed the might of my arm, and onwhich I shall do deeds that shall remain written in the book of famefor all ages to come. Seest thou that cloud of dust which risesyonder? Well, then, all that is churned up by a vast army composedof various and countless nations that comes marching there."
"According to that there must be two," said Sancho, "for on thisopposite side also there rises just such another cloud of dust."
Don Quixote turned to look and found that it was true, and rejoicingexceedingly, he concluded that they were two armies about to engageand encounter in the midst of that broad plain; for at all times andseasons his fancy was full of the battles, enchantments, adventures,crazy feats, loves, and defiances that are recorded in the books ofchivalry, and everything he said, thought, or did had reference tosuch things. Now the cloud of dust he had seen was raised by two greatdroves of sheep coming along the same road in opposite directions,which, because of the dust, did not become visible until they drewnear, but Don Quixote asserted so positively that they were armiesthat Sancho was led to believe it and say, "Well, and what are we todo, senor?"
"What?" said Don Quixote: "give aid and assistance to the weak andthose who need it; and thou must know, Sancho, that this which comesopposite to us is conducted and led by the mighty emperor Alifanfaron,lord of the great isle of Trapobana; this other that marches behind meis that of his enemy the king of the Garamantas, Pentapolin of theBare Arm, for he always goes into battle with his right arm bare."
"But why are these two lords such enemies?"
"They are at enmity," replied Don Quixote, "because this Alifanfaronis a furious pagan and is in love with the daughter of Pentapolin, whois a very beautiful and moreover gracious lady, and a Christian, andher father is unwilling to bestow her upon the pagan king unless hefirst abandons the religion of his false prophet Mahomet, and adoptshis own."
"By my beard," said Sancho, "but Pentapolin does quite right, andI will help him as much as I can."
"In that thou wilt do what is thy duty, Sancho," said Don Quixote;"for to engage in battles of this sort it is not requisite to be adubbed knight."
"That I can well understand," answered Sancho; "but where shall weput this ass where we may be sure to find him after the fray isover? for I believe it has not been the custom so far to go intobattle on a beast of this kind."
"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and what you had best do with himis to leave him to take his chance whether he be lost or not, forthe horses we shall have when we come out victors will be so many thateven Rocinante will run a risk of being changed for another. Butattend to me and observe, for I wish to give thee some account ofthe chief knights who accompany these two armies; and that thou mayestthe better see and mark, let us withdraw to that hillock which risesyonder, whence both armies may be seen."
They did so, and placed themselves on a rising ground from which thetwo droves that Don Quixote made armies of might have been plainlyseen if the clouds of dust they raised had not obscured them andblinded the sight; nevertheless, seeing in his imagination what he didnot see and what did not exist, he began thus in a loud voice:
"That knight whom thou seest yonder in yellow armour, who bears uponhis shield a lion crowned crouching at the feet of a damsel, is thevaliant Laurcalco, lord of the Silver Bridge; that one in armourwith flowers of gold, who bears on his shield three crowns argent onan azure field, is the dreaded Micocolembo, grand duke of Quirocia;that other of gigantic frame, on his right hand, is the ever dauntlessBrandabarbaran de Boliche, lord of the three Arabias, who for armourwears that serpent skin, and has for shield a gate which, according totradition, is one of those of the temple that Samson brought to theground when by his death he revenged himself upon his enemies. Butturn thine eyes to the other side, and thou shalt see in front andin the van of this other army the ever victorious and never vanquishedTimonel of Carcajona, prince of New Biscay, who comes in armour witharms quartered azure, vert, white, and yellow, and bears on his shielda cat or on a field tawny with a motto which says Miau, which is thebeginning of the name of his lady, who according to report is thepeerless Miaulina, daughter of the duke Alfeniquen of the Algarve; theother, who burdens and presses the loins of that powerful chargerand bears arms white as snow and a shield blank and without anydevice, is a novice knight, a Frenchman by birth, Pierres Papin byname, lord of the baronies of Utrique; that other, who withiron-shod heels strikes the flanks of that nimble parti-colouredzebra, and for arms bears azure vair, is the mighty duke of Nerbia,Espartafilardo del Bosque, who bears for device on his shield anasparagus plant with a motto in Castilian that says, Rastrea misuerte." And so he went on naming a number of knights of onesquadron or the other out of his imagination, and to all he assignedoff-hand their arms, colours, devices, and mottoes, carried away bythe illusions of his unheard-of craze; and without a pause, hecontinued, "People of divers nations compose this squadron in front;here are those that drink of the sweet waters of the famous Xanthus,those that scour the woody Massilian plains, those that sift thepure fine gold of Arabia Felix, those that enjoy the famed coolbanks of the crystal Thermodon, those that in many and various waysdivert the streams of the golden Pactolus, the Numidians, faithless intheir promises, the Persians renowned in archery, the Parthians andthe Medes that fight as they fly, the Arabs that ever shift theirdwellings, the Scythians as cruel as they are fair, the Ethiopianswith pierced lips, and an infinity of other nations whose features Irecognise and descry, though I cannot recall their names. In thisother squadron there come those that drink of the crystal streams ofthe olive-bearing Betis, those that make smooth their countenanceswith the water of the ever rich and golden Tagus, those that rejoicein the fertilising flow of the divine Genil, those that roam theTartesian plains abounding in pasture, those that take theirpleasure in the Elysian meadows of Jerez, the rich Mancheganscrowned with ruddy ears of corn, the wearers of iron, old relics ofthe Gothic race, those that bathe in the Pisuerga renowned for itsgentle current, those that feed their herds along the spreadingpastures of the winding Guadiana famed for its hidden course, thosethat tremble with the cold of the pineclad Pyrenees or the dazzlingsnows of the lofty Apennine; in a word, as many as all Europe includesand contains."