"That he is," said the barber, and at once alighting, he offered hissaddle to the curate, who accepted it without much entreaty; butunfortunately as the barber was mounting behind, the mule, being as ithappened a hired one, which is the same thing as sayingill-conditioned, lifted its hind hoofs and let fly a couple of kicksin the air, which would have made Master Nicholas wish hisexpedition in quest of Don Quixote at the devil had they caught him onthe breast or head. As it was, they so took him by surprise that hecame to the ground, giving so little heed to his beard that it felloff, and all he could do when he found himself without it was to coverhis face hastily with both his hands and moan that his teeth wereknocked out. Don Quixote when he saw all that bundle of bearddetached, without jaws or blood, from the face of the fallen squire,exclaimed:
"By the living God, but this is a great miracle! it has knockedoff and plucked away the beard from his face as if it had beenshaved off designedly."
The curate, seeing the danger of discovery that threatened hisscheme, at once pounced upon the beard and hastened with it to whereMaster Nicholas lay, still uttering moans, and drawing his head to hisbreast had it on in an instant, muttering over him some words which hesaid were a certain special charm for sticking on beards, as theywould see; and as soon as he had it fixed he left him, and thesquire appeared well bearded and whole as before, whereat DonQuixote was beyond measure astonished, and begged the curate toteach him that charm when he had an opportunity, as he was persuadedits virtue must extend beyond the sticking on of beards, for it wasclear that where the beard had been stripped off the flesh must haveremained torn and lacerated, and when it could heal all that it mustbe good for more than beards.
"And so it is," said the curate, and he promised to teach it tohim on the first opportunity. They then agreed that for the presentthe curate should mount, and that the three should ride by turns untilthey reached the inn, which might be about six leagues from where theywere.
Three then being mounted, that is to say, Don Quixote, the princess,and the curate, and three on foot, Cardenio, the barber, and SanchoPanza, Don Quixote said to the damsel:
"Let your highness, lady, lead on whithersoever is most pleasingto you;" but before she could answer the licentiate said:
"Towards what kingdom would your ladyship direct our course? Is itperchance towards that of Micomicon? It must be, or else I know littleabout kingdoms."
She, being ready on all points, understood that she was to answer"Yes," so she said "Yes, senor, my way lies towards that kingdom."
"In that case," said the curate, "we must pass right through myvillage, and there your worship will take the road to Cartagena, whereyou will be able to embark, fortune favouring; and if the wind be fairand the sea smooth and tranquil, in somewhat less than nine yearsyou may come in sight of the great lake Meona, I mean Meotides,which is little more than a hundred days' journey this side of yourhighness's kingdom."
"Your worship is mistaken, senor," said she; "for it is not twoyears since I set out from it, and though I never had good weather,nevertheless I am here to behold what I so longed for, and that ismy lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose fame came to my ears as soonas I set foot in Spain and impelled me to go in search of him, tocommend myself to his courtesy, and entrust the justice of my cause tothe might of his invincible arm."
"Enough; no more praise," said Don Quixote at this, "for I hateall flattery; and though this may not be so, still language of thekind is offensive to my chaste ears. I will only say, senora, thatwhether it has might or not, that which it may or may not have shallbe devoted to your service even to death; and now, leaving this to itsproper season, I would ask the senor licentiate to tell me what itis that has brought him into these parts, alone, unattended, and solightly clad that I am filled with amazement."
"I will answer that briefly," replied the curate; "you must knowthen, Senor Don Quixote, that Master Nicholas, our friend andbarber, and I were going to Seville to receive some money that arelative of mine who went to the Indies many years ago had sent me,and not such a small sum but that it was over sixty thousand pieces ofeight, full weight, which is something; and passing by this placeyesterday we were attacked by four footpads, who stripped us even toour beards, and them they stripped off so that the barber found itnecessary to put on a false one, and even this young man here"-pointing to Cardenio- "they completely transformed. But the best of itis, the story goes in the neighbourhood that those who attacked usbelong to a number of galley slaves who, they say, were set freealmost on the very same spot by a man of such valour that, in spite ofthe commissary and of the guards, he released the whole of them; andbeyond all doubt he must have been out of his senses, or he must be asgreat a scoundrel as they, or some man without heart or conscienceto let the wolf loose among the sheep, the fox among the hens, the flyamong the honey. He has defrauded justice, and opposed his king andlawful master, for he opposed his just commands; he has, I say, robbedthe galleys of their feet, stirred up the Holy Brotherhood which formany years past has been quiet, and, lastly, has done a deed bywhich his soul may be lost without any gain to his body." Sancho hadtold the curate and the barber of the adventure of the galleyslaves, which, so much to his glory, his master had achieved, andhence the curate in alluding to it made the most of it to see whatwould be said or done by Don Quixote; who changed colour at everyword, not daring to say that it was he who had been the liberator ofthose worthy people. "These, then," said the curate, "were they whorobbed us; and God in his mercy pardon him who would not let them goto the punishment they deserved."
CHAPTER XXX
WHICH TREATS OF ADDRESS DISPLAYED BY THE FAIR DOROTHEA, WITH OTHERMATTERS PLEASANT AND AMUSING
THE curate had hardly ceased speaking, when Sancho said, "Infaith, then, senor licentiate, he who did that deed was my master; andit was not for want of my telling him beforehand and warning him tomind what he was about, and that it was a sin to set them atliberty, as they were all on the march there because they were specialscoundrels."
"Blockhead!" said Don Quixote at this, "it is no business or concernof knights-errant to inquire whether any persons in affliction, inchains, or oppressed that they may meet on the high roads go thatway and suffer as they do because of their faults or because oftheir misfortunes. It only concerns them to aid them as persons inneed of help, having regard to their sufferings and not to theirrascalities. I encountered a chaplet or string of miserable andunfortunate people, and did for them what my sense of duty demandsof me, and as for the rest be that as it may; and whoever takesobjection to it, saving the sacred dignity of the senor licentiate andhis honoured person, I say he knows little about chivalry and lieslike a whoreson villain, and this I will give him to know to thefullest extent with my sword;" and so saying he settled himself in hisstirrups and pressed down his morion; for the barber's basin, whichaccording to him was Mambrino's helmet, he carried hanging at thesaddle-bow until he could repair the damage done to it by the galleyslaves.
Dorothea, who was shrewd and sprightly, and by this timethoroughly understood Don Quixote's crazy turn, and that all exceptSancho Panza were making game of him, not to be behind the rest saidto him, on observing his irritation, "Sir Knight, remember the boonyou have promised me, and that in accordance with it you must notengage in any other adventure, be it ever so pressing; calmyourself, for if the licentiate had known that the galley slaves hadbeen set free by that unconquered arm he would have stopped hismouth thrice over, or even bitten his tongue three times before hewould have said a word that tended towards disrespect of yourworship."
"That I swear heartily," said the curate, "and I would have evenplucked off a moustache."
"I will hold my peace, senora," said Don Quixote, "and I will curbthe natural anger that had arisen in my breast, and will proceed inpeace and quietness until I have fulfilled my promise; but in returnfor this consideration I entreat you to tell me, if you have noobjection to do so, what is the nature of your trouble, and howmany, who, and what are the persons of whom I am to require duesatisfaction, and on whom I am to take vengeance on your behalf?"
"That I will do with all my heart," replied Dorothea, "if it willnot be wearisome to you to hear of miseries and misfortunes."
"It will not be wearisome, senora," said Don Quixote; to whichDorothea replied, "Well, if that be so, give me your attention." Assoon as she said this, Cardenio and the barber drew close to her side,eager to hear what sort of story the quick-witted Dorothea wouldinvent for herself; and Sancho did the same, for he was as muchtaken in by her as his master; and she having settled herselfcomfortably in the saddle, and with the help of coughing and otherpreliminaries taken time to think, began with great sprightliness ofmanner in this fashion.
"First of all, I would have you know, sirs, that my name is-" andhere she stopped for a moment, for she forgot the name the curatehad given her; but he came to her relief, seeing what her difficultywas, and said, "It is no wonder, senora, that your highness shouldbe confused and embarrassed in telling the tale of your misfortunes;for such afflictions often have the effect of depriving thesufferers of memory, so that they do not even remember their ownnames, as is the case now with your ladyship, who has forgotten thatshe is called the Princess Micomicona, lawful heiress of the greatkingdom of Micomicon; and with this cue your highness may now recallto your sorrowful recollection all you may wish to tell us."