"For going smoothly and easily," said Sancho at this, "give me myDapple, though he can't go through the air; but on the ground I'llback him against all the amblers in the world."
They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: "And this samehorse, if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to oursufferings, will be here before us ere the night shall have advancedhalf an hour; for he announced to me that the sign he would give mewhereby I might know that I had found the knight I was in quest of,would be to send me the horse wherever he might be, speedily andpromptly."
"And how many is there room for on this horse?" asked Sancho.
"Two," said the Distressed One, "one in the saddle, and the other onthe croup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when thereis no damsel that's being carried off."
"I'd like to know, Senora Distressed One," said Sancho, "what is thename of this horse?"
"His name," said the Distressed One, "is not the same asBellerophon's horse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great's,called Bucephalus, or Orlando Furioso's, the name of which wasBrigliador, nor yet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, norFrontino like Ruggiero's, nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say thehorses of the sun were called, nor is he called Orelia, like the horseon which the unfortunate Rodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rodeto the battle where he lost his life and his kingdom."
"I'll bet," said Sancho, "that as they have given him none ofthese famous names of well-known horses, no more have they given himthe name of my master's Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses allthat have been mentioned."
"That is true," said the bearded countess, "still it fits him verywell, for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is inaccordance with his being made of wood, with the peg he has in hisforehead, and with the swift pace at which he travels; and so, asfar as name goes, he may compare with the famous Rocinante."
"I have nothing to say against his name," said Sancho; "but withwhat sort of bridle or halter is he managed?"
"I have said already," said the Trifaldi, "that it is with a peg, byturning which to one side or the other the knight who rides himmakes him go as he pleases, either through the upper air, orskimming and almost sweeping the earth, or else in that middlecourse that is sought and followed in all well-regulated proceedings."
"I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy I'm going to mounthim, either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of theelm tree. A good joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple,and on a pack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they'd haveme hold on upon haunches of plank without pad or cushion of anysort! Gad, I have no notion of bruising myself to get rid ofanyone's beard; let each one shave himself as best he can; I'm notgoing to accompany my master on any such long journey; besides, Ican't give any help to the shaving of these beards as I can to thedisenchantment of my lady Dulcinea."
"Yes, you can, my friend," replied the Trifaldi; "and so much,that without you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing."
"In the king's name!" exclaimed Sancho, "what have squires got to dowith the adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame ofsuch as they go through, and we the labour? Body o' me! if thehistorians would only say, 'Such and such a knight finished such andsuch an adventure, but with the help of so and so, his squire, withoutwhich it would have been impossible for him to accomplish it;' butthey write curtly, "Don Paralipomenon of the Three Starsaccomplished the adventure of the six monsters;' without mentioningsuch a person as his squire, who was there all the time, just as ifthere was no such being. Once more, sirs, I say my master may goalone, and much good may it do him; and I'll stay here in thecompany of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, hewill find the lady Dulcinea's affair ever so much advanced; for I meanin leisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell ofwhipping without so much as a hair to cover me."
"For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho,"said the duchess, "for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the facesof these ladies must not remain overgrown in this way because ofyour idle fears; that would be a hard case indeed."
"In the king's name, once more!" said Sancho; "If this charitablework were to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement orcharity-girls, a man might expose himself to some hardships; but tobear it for the sake of stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it!I'd sooner see them all bearded, from the highest to the lowest, andfrom the most prudish to the most affected."
"You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend," said theduchess; "you incline very much to the opinion of the Toledoapothecary. But indeed you are wrong; there are duennas in my housethat may serve as patterns of duennas; and here is my DonaRodriguez, who will not allow me to say otherwise."
"Your excellence may say it if you like," said the Rodriguez; "forGod knows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are goodor bad, bearded or smooth, we are our mothers' daughters like otherwomen; and as God sent us into the world, he knows why he did, andon his mercy I rely, and not on anybody's beard."
"Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company," saidDon Quixote, "I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyesupon your troubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only letClavileno come and let me find myself face to face with Malambruno,and I am certain no razor will shave you more easily than my swordshall shave Malambruno's head off his shoulders; for 'God bears withthe wicked, but not for ever."
"Ah!" exclaimed the Distressed One at this, "may all the stars ofthe celestial regions look down upon your greatness with benigneyes, valiant knight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon yourheart, that it may be the shield and safeguard of the abused anddowntrodden race of duennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at bysquires, and made game of by pages. Ill betide the jade that in theflower of her youth would not sooner become a nun than a duenna!Unfortunate beings that we are, we duennas! Though we may be descendedin the direct male line from Hector of Troy himself, our mistressesnever fail to address us as 'you' if they think it makes queens ofthem. O giant Malambruno, though thou art an enchanter, thou arttrue to thy promises. Send us now the peerless Clavileno, that ourmisfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hot weather sets inand these beards of ours are still there, alas for our lot!"
The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tearsfrom the eyes of all and even Sancho's filled up; and he resolved inhis heart to accompany his master to the uttermost ends of theearth, if so be the removal of the wool from those venerablecountenances depended upon it.
CHAPTER XLI
OF THE ARRIVAL OF CLAVILENO AND THE END OF THIS PROTRACTED ADVENTURE
AND now night came, and with it the appointed time for the arrivalof the famous horse Clavileno, the non-appearance of which was alreadybeginning to make Don Quixote uneasy, for it struck him that, asMalambruno was so long about sending it, either he himself was not theknight for whom the adventure was reserved, or else Malambruno did notdare to meet him in single combat. But lo! suddenly there came intothe garden four wild-men all clad in green ivy bearing on theirshoulders a great wooden horse. They placed it on its feet on theground, and one of the wild-men said, "Let the knight who has heartfor it mount this machine."
Here Sancho exclaimed, "I don't mount, for neither have I theheart nor am I a knight."
"And let the squire, if he has one," continued the wild-man, "takehis seat on the croup, and let him trust the valiant Malambruno; forby no sword save his, nor by the malice of any other, shall he beassailed. It is but to turn this peg the horse has in his neck, and hewill bear them through the air to where Malambruno awaits them; butlest the vast elevation of their course should make them giddy,their eyes must be covered until the horse neighs, which will be thesign of their having completed their journey."
With these words, leaving Clavileno behind them, they retired witheasy dignity the way they came. As soon as the Distressed One sawthe horse, almost in tears she exclaimed to Don Quixote, "Valiantknight, the promise of Malambruno has proved trustworthy; the horsehas come, our beards are growing, and by every hair in them all ofus implore thee to shave and shear us, as it is only mounting him withthy squire and making a happy beginning with your new journey."
"That I will, Senora Countess Trifaldi," said Don Quixote, "mostgladly and with right goodwill, without stopping to take a cushionor put on my spurs, so as not to lose time, such is my desire to seeyou and all these duennas shaved clean."
"That I won't," said Sancho, "with good-will or bad-will, or any wayat all; and if this shaving can't be done without my mounting on thecroup, my master had better look out for another squire to go withhim, and these ladies for some other way of making their faces smooth;I'm no witch to have a taste for travelling through the air. Whatwould my islanders say when they heard their governor was going,strolling about on the winds? And another thing, as it is threethousand and odd leagues from this to Kandy, if the horse tires, orthe giant takes huff, we'll he half a dozen years getting back, andthere won't be isle or island in the world that will know me: andso, as it is a common saying 'in delay there's danger,' and 'when theyoffer thee a heifer run with a halter,' these ladies' beards mustexcuse me; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome;' I mean I am very wellin this house where so much is made of me, and I hope for such agood thing from the master as to see myself a governor."